Girls. Ever heard of them?

This will be a short ramble about the fairer sex. If I'm wrong, then HAHA! IT'S MY BLOG!
Uh, OR you could correct me.
But I'm not wrong. Ever. So don't even try. Just read, and believe.
The truth is in here.

As far as girls relate to gaming of any sort, there are 4 main types of women.
1. The Hater
2. The Invisible Girl
3. The Voyeur
4. The Competition

The Hater is the girl who throws out your issues of Game Informer while you're at work. She's
the one who starts a 1,000,000,000 piece puzzle on your table half an hour before your RPG group shows up. She's the cold-hearted evil machine who threatens to revoke your sex coupons if you don't turn that shit off right now...regardless of how long it's been since you were last able to save your game. The Hater does just what her name implies...she hates games. She's not apathetic, she not simply someone who doesn't play games...it's her mission to kill fun. And she will. She'll find it, wherever it hides, and she will choke the life out of it. Avoid at all costs.

Next is the Invisible Girl. She is a total step in the right direction. The IG couldn't care less about games. She won't wreck your fun though...in the presence of games, the IG simply...disappears. She can usually be found doing something womanly in another part of the dwelling, something like knitting, doing laundry, reading a book, or, if she is a truly wonderful IG, preparing to re-appear briefly with the sandwich she just made for you (note: these cases are extremely rare). On a scale of 1 to Awesome, the Invisible Girl scores a solid "Loves Me From Afar (Which Is Cool, Cause Some of My Buds Smell a Bit Funky)".

Next up, we have the type of girl I have been blessed with. The Voyeur. The Big V isn't gonna scream at you for buying Super Mario's Magic Kingdom of Lollipops and Wishes that Make Dinosaurs Fly. She won't go all Susan Storm on you when she sees polyhedral dice. No, this one is clever. She likes to watch. I'm trying to come up with a synonym for kinky that contains the appropriate level of geek, but there's just not one, so we'll use geenky. The Voyeur girl is geenky. She'll sit and watch you play Doom 3 all evening, cuddled up just like she was watching a top-shelf horror movie. She'll cry with you [ANCIENT SPOILER] when Sephiroth skewers Aeris. If you offer to let her play, she usually responds with something
like, "I'm no good at those games," or, "I like to watch you play them." She is a win/lose situation, because, while she won't hog console time, she's also not one to sit down and play a few rounds of Tekken Tag with you. But I think the good outweighs the bad. Full-on good times with this girl.

Last, but not least, there is the most sought-after and most-dreaded of all women.
The Competition.
This is the gaming girl. Her Elven Necromancer reached the level cap a month ago, she's got more polyhedral dice
than you, and she can beat Ninja Gaiden Black while simultaneously playing Tetris with her toes.
This is totally awesome, because you now have nothing to worry about. You both share a common interest, and you'll never be banished to the couch for playing FFVII straight through a four-day weekend (unless, of course, there were games she wanted to play instead). You no longer have to bribe your friends with beer to get them to come over and play Halo. This wonderous creation, however, has a major flaw.
You must always match her, and never surpass her.
If you play way above her level, she will hate you for perpetuating the male dominance stereotype. On the flip side, if she constantly whips your n00b ass, then she will lose
all respect for you, and ditch you for one of your nerd friends (because nerds can smell a gamer
chick from MILES away, and they'll snap her up in an instant). She's a constant tightrope walk,
but the payoff can be worth the fight. Especially when she rolls over after sex (you know what that is, right?) and whispers in your ear, "I think I just leveled up. Twice."